


Meet the Parents

by darlingdisastrous



Series: Me and My Husband - Anthology [6]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Age Difference, Angry Sex, Awkward Boners, Awkward situations, Bedroom Sex, Bondage and Discipline, Breeding, Breeding Kink, Childhood Memories, Cunnilingus, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Gags, Having Sex in Childhood Bedrooms, Impregnation Kink, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Meet the Family, Meeting the Parents, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Praise Kink, Pregnancy Kink, Quiet Sex, Reader-Insert, Revenge Sex, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Shameless Smut, Size Kink, Smut, Wife Kink, marriage kink, no y/n, no-touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:06:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26860366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingdisastrous/pseuds/darlingdisastrous
Summary: Illumi determines the time has come for you to meet his parents...
Relationships: Illumi Zoldyck/Reader
Series: Me and My Husband - Anthology [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940818
Comments: 35
Kudos: 284





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> You’re finally introduced to Illumi’s family, though things don’t go according to plan.
> 
> Alternative Summary: You get pissed at Kikyo and Illumi has a PHAT impregnation kink

“When we arrive, you will greet mother first, then father. If my grandfather is there, you must greet him, too; but, don’t feel the need to start a conversation with him. He’s just a silly old man.

“Unfortunately, Killua will not be home. He’s the one I wanted you to meet the most—aside from mother. It’s imperative you make a good impression on her.

“You will meet Milluki later, probably at dinner. Feel free to ignore him. He’s unimportant. The same goes for Kalluto, though he probably won’t speak to you anyway.

“Do you have any questions?” Illumi looks at me for the first time since we got here. Despite his calm tone, there was worry in his eyes.

I try to absorb the information he's just dumped on me, picking it apart until I find something to ask. “What are your parents names?”

“Kikyo and Silva,” he says stiffly. “Don’t call them that. Mother wouldn’t take kindly to it.”

Most of the ride in the airship had been like this. Since the moment we decided we were going to visit his family, Illumi has been tense. He's taken nearly every opportunity to remind me just how important this meeting was.

Meeting the parents was a big deal, I get that. When said parents happen to be world renowned contract killers, it became an even bigger deal. I knew all of this. I just wish Illumi was a little more reassuring.

_“I’m nervous, Illumi.” I admit._

_“You should be,” he replies. “This is important. If mother and father don’t approve of you...” He trailed off, the weight of his words bearing down on me._

__

__

_I didn't need to ask what would happen. All of those worse-case scenarios I came up with in my head seemed a little more realistic, now._

Illumi was naturally expressionless, it was something I’d come to terms with a while ago. He didn’t smile unless he meant it; and when he scowled it was terrifying. The only way I'd been able to read him (and even now it's still hard) was to look at his eyes. They were the most expressive feature he had; and, if I was to hazard a guess, Illumi was feeling down-right petrified.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” I say.

Considering the situation, it seemed strange that I was the one comforting him.

Illumi glances back at me briefly, then stares straight ahead at the wall. “Let’s hope so.”

I bite back a snarky remark. _Sometimes, he really got on my nerves_. Instead, I gently caress his cheek, urging him to look at me. “It’s going to be fine because no matter what, we have each other.” His lips twitch. I can tell he wants to say something pessimistic, but I don’t give him the chance. “Illumi, can I kiss you?”

The worry in his eyes dissipates and fades into surprise. Illumi waits. Then, he nods, leaning down mechanically. It’s just a peck, his lips touching mine for a fleeting moment before pulling back and returning to his static position. Despite the fact that we’re alone in this part of the airship, I know Illumi won’t go any further. Public displays of affection include all public spaces to him. He won’t dare do more unless we’re behind a door that’s deadbolted shut.

ღ

The airship touches down on the outskirts of Kukuroo mountain. Illumi explains how his family has their own private landing strip. I didn't believe him until it was right in front of my eyes.

We landed somewhere near the 'front' of the mountain. Illumi had pointed out different landmarks of his home as we were in the air, such as the 'testing gates' and some large animal called _Mike_. (The thing looked huge from where we'd been in the air. I shuddered to think what it would look like up close.)

As Illumi speaks with the pilot, I gawk at the mountain.

“You live up there?”

Illumi follows my gaze and shrugs. “Essentially. The actual mansion is inside the mountain.”

My eyes bulge. “That’s _incredible_.”

Again, he shrugs. “It’s nothing special.”

Once he finished delegating, Illumi wastes no more time and starts up the mountain side. The trees are dense and underbrush is thick. I'm starting to regret what I'm wearing. Had I known there would be a _literal hike_ involved, I would've dressed much more appropriately.

After nearly thirty minutes, the forest opens up into a clearing. Within it stands a small girl dressed in a suit and a stone gate. The gate itself isn't too high, I could probably slip over it with ease; but, something tells me it's meant to be unassuming.

“Welcome home, Master Illumi.”

The little girl bows when we draw nearer. Illumi doesn’t respond to her, walking past as if she didn't exist. I smile at the girl but she doesn't see it.

After another unbearably long stretch of time (Illumi is a terrible conversational companion), we come across three new figures.

One is a woman. Most of her face is bandaged and she wears a strange electronic visor over her eyes. A single, red dot sits in the middle of it, following us as if she can see us. The woman also wears a fancy dress and broad rimmed hat. She's fanning herself and doesn’t smile.

Beside her is a hulking mountain of a man with long, wavy, silver hair and piercing blue eyes. He might be taller than Illumi, which thickly defined muscles. He looks like he could squash me like a bug if he so much as flicked me. This man also doesn’t smile, but his eyes are expressive like Illumi's, staring at the two of you fondly.

The last figure is an old man. He's not as imposing as the other male—but something about him tells me he's just as dangerous, if not more. He has short, shock-white hair and a long mustache. He greets the two of us with a mischievous grin.

If I had to guess, I'd say they were the family he warned me of early. Looking at them, I was unsure where Illumi got his looks.

“Mother,” Illumi greets the bandaged woman. “Father. Zeno.”

I bow to them and smile. When I speak, I direct my words to his mother, Kikyo. "It’s nice to finally meet you. Illumi speaks very highly of his family.”

He didn’t really. He hardly spoke about his family at all. I’d just seemed like a nice thing to say.

Kikyo says nothing, looking exceedingly unimpressed with me.

The large man—his father—inclines his head warmly. “It’s nice to finally meet you, too.”

“It’s about time Illumi brought you around,” says Zeno. “So, when’s the wedding?”

Beside me, I feel Illumi tense slightly. I only laugh. Grandparents can be funny. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard that question. (Even without a boyfriend.)

“A few weeks from now,” I say with a grin.

Suddenly, everyone stops smiling. Kikyo whips her head towards her son, mouth open. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"Preparations need to be made," noted Silva. "It would've been nice to know in advance, but I'm sure we can pull something together."

I feel all color drain from my face. "Nononono—"

“She was trying to joke with you,” said Illumi.

Why did they take that so seriously? It was just to break the ice! Surely, they didn't actually think ... The trio go silent. They're all varying degrees of annoyed. _Boy. Tough crowd._

Illumi breaks the tension. “May we get settled in?”

His father nods, gesturing behind him. “Of course. You know what time dinner is. You two go and freshen up.”

Illumi nods staunchly, and starts to walk off, not bothering to see if I follow.

I force a smile at them. “It really is great to finally me you all. Thank you for inviting me into your home.”

Illumi calls out for me and I bolt, keeping my head low so they don't see how embarrassed I am. Geeze, I'm never going to live that down. Illumi should've warned me they were so _literal_.

I soon forget my embarrassment, though, the deeper we get into the mansion. I'm gawking again. Sure, a mansion inside of a mountain _sounds_ impressive, but actually seeing it was something else.

It's humongous. We pass through the foyer without stopping so there was no time to analyze every little detail, but I didn't need to be in there long to know it was bigger than any home I've ever been in. The hallways were no better. The casual display of wealth was overwhelming. Expensive vase here, priceless portrait there. I wish it was brighter. There was no outward source of light in the home. It was dimly lit by candles, placed sparcely along the hall, just enough that you weren't plunged in total darkness.

If I was positive I wouldn't've gotten lost - or worse, killed - by wandering off, I would've done so already. There were countless of dark and creepy corridors just begging to be explored. I doubt Illumi would share my enthusiasm.

My eye is drawn to an enormous family portrait and I unconsciously come to a halt to examine it. Though I have to squint through the shadows, I can see the portrait with relative ease.

It must have been done years ago. From what (little) Illumi told you about his siblings, they all seemed to be above the age of ten. In the painting, there were three young children, two of them couldn’t have been older than three, and the other around six-or-seven. Kikyo was holding most of them. She wore less bandages on her face but was otherwise unchanged. Both Zeno and Siva looked the same.

That was when my gaze landed on Illumi.

Other than his hair, he was completely unchanged. (This surprised me, considering how young the siblings looked. There wasn't an ounce of babyfat left on him. If it wasn't for that hair...) He still had the same angelic aloofness he wore today. He wasn't smiling but neither was anyone else.

I took a step closer, frowning. Something tugged at the edges of my consciousness. Something about him...

And that was when it clicked.

“You!”

Illumi, who had kept walking that entire time, turned at the sound of my voice. “What about me?”

“You—you’re the guy!” I snapped my fingers, words eluding me. “The guy—!”

“What are you talking about?” He finally reaches me, looking at the portrait.

I fist my hand through my hair, collecting my thoughts. “It was—wow, I don’t know how many years back—one of my first performances with the company. I was exploring and you caught me!”

Illumi furrows his eyebrows. The memory was lost on him.

Any other time, the silence might've made me doubt myself; and yet, looking up at that image of Illumi, I knew I was right.

“You were there, you were looking for someone or something. You looked exactly like this! With the short hair and everything! _How could I forget_?” I tap my finger against my mouth thoughtfully. “I remember, now. Someone died that night. Everyone was freaking out but the police never interviewed us. The guy was gangbanger or something...”

His frown deepened. “I ... don’t remember this.”

“It was you," I say, more to myself than to him. “You talked to me about Zetsu, like you did at _Romeo and Juliet_. No wonder it felt familiar." I laughed to myself and turn to him. “I feel silly for forgetting.”

Illumi's glanced at the portrait, then turned away. It's clear he didn't want to talk about this anymore. "Come on. My room isn't far away."

ღ

True to his word, his room was around the next corner. Illumi ushered me inside, laying a gentle hand on my lower back.

"So, this is your room?"

The space itself was unimpressive. The walls were grey, the bed was grey, his desk was grey. There were no personal touches in the room except for a miniature frame on his desk. I could tell right away that it was a selfie I'd snuck of the two of us. Illumi was a blur (he knew what I was trying to do before I'd done it); but, I was in perfect clarity, smiling wide.

My heart flutters in my chest. (It doesn't occur to me until later that I never sent him that picture.)

"The butlers brought up your bags in case you want to change."

Illumi gestures to the corner where my suitcase rested. I hadn't noticed it earlier.

"Thanks." I peer down at my dirty, sweat-stained outfit. "Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea."

Illumi nods and points me towards the nearest bathroom. I make quick work of myself, tidying up and smoothing down flyaways until I deem myself presentable. When I return to Illumi, he's up and ready to escort me to the dining room.

We were the first to arrive, but I didn't mind. Having time for just the two of us calmed me. I tried to pull out my chair, but it refused to budge. It was as if it was cemented to the floor.

"How heavy is that?" I asked. Illumi generously pulled it out for me.

"I'm not sure. Maybe a hundred pounds? It's been a while since I asked."

A hundred...? I blanch, settling down in the chair. "Why is it so _heavy_?"

“Hm? Everything is weighted here.” Illumi lifts a fork to examine it. “It’s a part of our training. There is no room for weakness in an assassin’s life—not even at home.”

I swallow his words like a bitter pill. Illumi had mentioned some things about his childhood before that were unsavory, but he always said them with straight-faces indifference.

It didn’t take long for the rest of the Zoldycks to file into the dining room. First was Silva and Kikyo, who greeted us pleasantly. (I could still feel his mom's intense glare on me. At least, I think it's a glare? It's hard to tell.)

Next came a boy with a round face and beady eyes. Up until now, I hadn't seen a single Zoldyck who shared Illumi’s dark features, but that was the extent of their likeness.

"Milluki," Illumi said as a half-greeting, half-informing me as to who it was.

Milluki set his sights on me. "Who is this?"

Silva told him my name, as if it were obvious. "Illumi's fiancee."

I felt Illumi, for the second time this trip, tense beside me. I laid my hand on his leg in an attempt to comfort him, but it only made him stiffen more. I didn’t have the guts to correct him. Maybe he was continuing the joke from earlier.

"It's nice to meet you," I say.

Milluki grunted. 

The last to arrive were Zeno and a small boy with mid-length black hair. The similarity between him and Illumi was startling.

Illumi nodded towards the boy. "Kalluto.”

Much like Milluki, Kalluto eyed me cautiously. Then, he bowed his head respectfully. I smile.

Suddenly, the dining room doors opened and a swarm of butlers poured into the room. They toted steaming plates of food, filling the room with a pleasant smell, and laid them on the table.

Kikyo commanded my attention. "Tell me, what do your parents do?"

Her words seemed more like a formality than genuine curiosity.

"Mom's a dental assistant in the city, and dad is a professional pianist." While I speak, Illumi takes the liberty of filling my plate with food.

She sniffs. "I was under the impression that your father was a pro-hunter."

"He was," I explain. "Dad decided to give it up when I was born. He said that he used to be gone so often because of his hunter duties, and when I came along he wanted to give it up to be able to spend time with the family more. Music was always his passion, and since he was home a lot more he was able to cultivate that passion and make it grown."

Silva joined the conversation. "What is his Hatsu?"

"He's an Emitter. He likes to use his Hatsu when he plays to give the audience an emotional experience."

"Interesting." He nods thoughtfully. "And, what about you?"

I shake my head. "Never got that far. Dad taught me a lot when I was younger for protective reasons, but I was pretty impatient back then. Sometimes I regret not sticking with it. Live and learn."

Illumi turns to me, his voice quiet. "I can always teach you."

"Really?" He nods. A genuine smile worms it’s way onto my face. "That's sweet of you. Thanks."

Illumi nods again, returning to his plate.

Kikyo takes hold of the conversation, "Illumi says you're a performer."

Her words are cold. She practically spits out the word _performer_.

I don't let it bother me. "I'm a part of the York New City Ballet. I started ... wow, a while ago. It feels like I've been there forever."

"Are you successful?" It feels like she's delibritly trying to strike a nerve.

I laugh it off and shrug. "I'd like to think so. My claim to fame is mainly minor roles. I haven't had the privilage of being the lead, yet."

Across the table, Milluki scoffs. "Ballet is boring.”

" _Milluki_..." Illumi warns.

"It's okay." I pat his leg gently. "Not everyone likes ballet. It's an aquired taste, kind of like opera. You either love it or you hate it."

The table allows the conversation to die and everyone returns to eating. Illumi lays his hand over mine under the table. For a moment, it makes my heart soar; but, then I realize he's doing it to remove me from him. I cast him a side-long pout, but he doesn't even look at me.

Kikyo’s spoon hits her plate softly, yet the sound seems to echo throughout the silent room. Her lips are pinched so thin they seem bloodless. "How do you feel about children?"

A blush creeps up my face. "They're okay. I don't really get to be around them too often, but I do have a nephew that I babysit whenever possible."

"Nephew?" echoes Silva, "I was under the impression you didn't have any siblings."

I don’t ask how he knows that.

“I don't technically speaking. I'm an honorary-aunt. My best friend since childhood doesn't have any siblings either. We're basically sisters, and when she gave birth to her son last spring she asked me if I'd be his aunt."

"Hmph." Kikyo tilted her head. "And what of your fertility?"

I choke mid-bite, my fork clattering to the table. Illumi is quick to grab my drink and hand it to me. 

I gulp the water down, thankful for the excuse not to speak. But, the water runs out sooner than I’d like and I’m forced to say the only thing on my mind.

“ _What_?"

Kikyo _mercifully_ repeats. "Are you fertile?"

So, I _wasn't_ hearing things.

I looked around at the rest of the table, hoping to glean some kind of support from the others but I find none. They all seem just as interested in my answer. Even Illumi.

There’s no way out of this.

"W-Well ... I've never had it checked, but ... I don't have a reason to think that I'm _not_." I twist my napkin around my hands nervously. "Why do you want to know that, anyway?"

"Illumi needs to be with someone who will carry on the Zoldyck name. Someone to give him sons." Kikyo nods to Illumi. "I suggest you get that checked before this relationship goes any further."

"Hang on." I pull away, her forwardness astounding me. "I really don't think that's any of your business. No offense, but having children is something that is between Illumi and I, not the rest of the family. It's up to us to decide if we want kids in the first place, and _when_ we want them."

Kikyo matches my scowl. "Illumi knows what he must do. It's up to you to accept it."

"Illumi can make his own decisions," I rebuttle. "He's a grown man."

"He is still a Zoldyck."

I clench my jaw. There's so much I can say to her—so much I want to say—when I feel Illumi nudge me with his foot. He says my name softly, almost pleadingly, and I force myself to keep silent. If only for his sake.

The dining room falls into a stifling silence. Kikyo and I glare daggers into one another. I know I shouldn't. Especially since Illumi seems to care about his mother's opinion so much, but it doesn't stop me. The woman has been trying to make a mockery out of me all evening. She's humiliated me—and her son.

At the end of the table, Zeno clears his throat. "So, what are your thoughts on assassins?"

ღ

I sit on Illumi’s bed, jaw clamped shut and arms crossed like a a petulant child.

I _feel_ like a petulant child in all honesty. But, I refuse to let this go and Illumi has yet to have anything helpful to add.

He returns to the bedroom wearing only a pair of satin lounge pants. I check him out from the corner of my eye but say nothing.

Illumi mills about the room, doing whatever it is he needs to do at his desk, before speaking. "You shouldn't have done that.”

My jaw ticks.

"If mother doesn't like you then there's no point in us being together." Despite what he says, his words sound tired and rehersed, not at all like he means them.

I purse my lips.

"She is not a very forgiving woman but we still have time." Illumi crawls into bed beside me. "Tomorrow, you will go to her and make amends—"

"No."

"What?"

 _Shut up_ , I warn myself; but, the floodgates have opened and there’s no way to shut them.

" _No_. I'm not going to apologize to her. She should apologize to _me_ —to us. She had no right asking about that—no, no, _insisting_ on that—when it's something that is up to you and me. No one else."

Illumi frowns.

“And another thing! We’ve been dating _how long_ now? We haven’t even discussed kids—and believe me, if we ever do, that’s going to be a long discussion. Just. Between. The. Two. Of. Us.”

He crosses his arms, looking away.

"Listen, Illumi, I know you love your mother. I want to get along with her, but she crossed the line tonight. Especially considering this was the first time I've even met the woman!"

He shakes his head. "Mother only wants to look after the well-being of the Zoldyck clan. If you just apologize—"

"I'm not going to fucking apologize!" In my anger, I jump off the bed, putting as much distance between us as I can. "It's not my job to apologize. I'm pretty sure the only way she'd forgive me, anyway, is if I suddenly came out and say, ‘Hey, Kikyo! Hope you're ready to be a grandma!'. UGH!"

"Calm down."

I whirl around, pointing my finger at him in warning. "Don't you dare tell me to calm down."

“You’re behaving like a brat,” he states. 

“Behaving like a—” I cut myself off with a _tsk_. “Fuck it.”

I grab Illumi by the shoulders and draw him into a bruising kiss. It doesn’t last longer than a millisecond. Illumi snatches my hands away from him, his eyes wide.

“What are you doing?

Despite him holding me back I lean in close for another kiss. I fall short, our noses bumping against one another instead. 

“You wanna please your mommy so much, so that’s what we’re gonna do. We’re going to make a fucking baby.”

A beat of silence.

His mood shifts suddenly. “Do you mean that?”

“What’s wrong?” I raise my eyebrows. “Chickening out?”

The taunt seems to flip a switch. Illumi flips me onto the bed, pinning me underneath his body. The hard planes of his chest press just right against me. His knee is situated just between my thighs.

His grip goes lax on your wrists. You take the opportunity to grab the back of his neck and kiss him again, but Illumi jerks back.

“Who gave you permission to touch me?”

“I’ve gotta touch you. That’s how we make a baby.”

Truth be told—I wasn’t _actually_ keen on the idea. I just wanted to rial him up a bit, make him show me _something_ other than apathy.

I also didn’t expect it to work.

Illumi narrows his eyes. “What a poor excuse.”

He gathers my wrists and pins them to the bed with one hand. The grip is tight—but he’s holding back. I can feel the untapped power with every twitch of his fingers.

His other hand snakes to my pants. He fumbles with my belt for a moment before yanking it off my body. I expect him to toss it away, but Illumi surprises me and loops the leather around my wrists, binding them to the headboard.

“Don’t move them,” he orders.

His sudden display of dominance almost took my breath away. _Almost_. “Or what?”

“Or you won’t like what happens.”

I shiver under the weight of his stare. Once he’s sure I’m not planning to disobey, Illumi sits up. With little effort he rips my shirt in two exposing my bra. He spares them a longing look before moving to my pants. 

His touch is borderline frantic, like if he doesn’t get me out of my clothes fast something bad will happen. 

Soon enough, I’m bare before him. Illumi shoves my bra up above my breasts. I can't help but feel grateful that he didn't destroy it. He pecks both of my nipples, not enough to provide stimulation but enough to send a jolt of arousal through me.

Illumi's dark eyes flick towards my face, gauging my reaction, the crawls down my body. He leaves calculated kisses all along my bare skin, stopping when his face is level with my panties. He pecks both of my hips, skimming his lips along the edges of my underwear. And then, he bites. His teeth sink into the flesh of my tummy, not hard enough to draw blood but enough to feel it.

I gasp, arching off the bed into his mouth. Illumi retracts, though, and I only meet air.

He discards my underwear and before I can settle back onto the bed he throws my legs over his shoulders. I yelp, grasping the headboard for stability.

His breath fans across my bare pussy, sending a jolt of arousal right through me. I've never seen him so lustful before. He looks like he might devour me whole.

"Do you know,” he begins, his voice dangerously low, “how hard you make it? You have bewitched me. Every day, I am confronted with these ... lustful urges to have you, to make you my own. Your actions at dinner made them nearly unbearable."

I don't have time to ponder on his meaning as Illumi attaches himself to my core. He sucks on my clit hard before laving his tongue over the raw nerve. It sends me reeling. I grab at my binds with a white-knuckled grip. Moans tore free from my throat uninhibited, bouncing off the walls around us. God, I hoped the walls were as thick as they looked.

Illumi pulls away from my clit with an over-exaggerated _pop_. "What possessed you to touch me like that? You had to know what you were doing. You aren't _that_ stupid."

"Hey— _ah!_ "

His tongue plunged into my cunt, thrusting as far as he could possibly go. He lapped at my juices as if he were a starving man, completely feral. I wanted to touch him, tug on his hair, _kiss him_ ; but, I was trapped. Illumi had weaved the belt through the slats of his headboard. Try as I might, they wouldn't budge.

The intense pleasure left me breathless. I gulped down as much air as I could, but it was useless. Illumi was relentless.

When he pulled away from me again, he didn't stop the stimulation. Instead, he moved his hand to rest against my abdomen, his thumb making idle circles against my clit.

"I was content with waiting. We'll be married soon enough and I have enough self control not to pounce on you any time I feel aroused. Sometimes, my sweet, you make things too _damn_ hard." He leans down to give my slit a quick lick. "But now I know you feel like I do. There's no need to wait. You're mine. I'm going to make you mine."

I was on the edge of the precipice. Blood rushes in my ears, drowning out his words. My hips stuttered, unconsciously seeking more stimulation.

"Ill— _ah—llumi! Illumi, please! I'm going to cum." I arched off the bed, pulling on my bonds even harder. "Please, baby, make me cum. _Make me cum_. I need you— _fuck_! lllumi!"_

He rubbed my clit faster, eyes never leaving my face. He lapped at my pussy, tongue teasing the pulpit walls, until it was just too much.

The orgasm crashed over me and my eyes rolled back in my head. I shouted his name—though it might’ve been a whisper. He was all I could think of. He consumed me entirely. 

_Illumi._

_Illumi._

__Illumi_._

He collected my slick on his tongue and didn’t stop until he deemed it necessary. It was too much for my hyper-sensitive lips. 

I quivered, straining against my bonds. "Illumi, baby, please." I sounded so pathetic, even in my own ears, and yet I couldn’t stop. "I need you in me. Please, fuck me, Illumi. Fuck me. I can't wait any longer, please stop teasing me.”

Illumi grips my hips so tight I fear they’ll bruise. He slips one finger into my mouth and presses down my tongue. “You have a vulgar mouth. I suppose I'll need to tame it ... For now, keep quiet. You're interrupting a delicious meal.”

I make an undiginfied noise—something between a sqwak and a whimper. Illumi slips his finger in further, the pressure on my tongue increasing.

I wrap my lips around it, suckling the digit. Illumi returned his attention to my cunt, devouring me like I was his last meal on earth. His tongue was sloppy yet calculated in its strokes. He alternated between my clit and my pussy, making sure they both received equal attention. I sucked on his finger harder, hoping my actions would be enticing enough to bring him up.

Thankfully, it was.

Illumi ripped his finger away and replaced it with his lips. He was salty with my slick, not an entirely pleasant taste, but I ignored it in favor of reciprocating his fervor.

The kiss was searing, like he intended to devour my mouth the way he had my cunt.

Illumi shoves his pants down, eager to free his erection. He wore no underwear. Either he'd been expecting the night to go this way or he decided to forgo it for some other reason. It didn't matter, though, did it?

His hardon pressed against my thigh and I shuddered. It was long and _warm_ , in stark contrast with the rest of his body.

Illumi's hair fell around us in a dark curtain, shielding us from the rest of the world. He took ahold of his cock in one hand and dragged it over my slit, collecting the slick that leaked out of me.

"Illumi," I pleaded.

He breached my entrance. There was a slight stretch, but it wasn't bad. Illumi wasn't monstrously thick. The size of it was just enough to make my walls burn pleasantly. Though, from what I felt earlier, he was _long_. The more he inched inside of me, the more I was sure I wouldn't be able to fit him all. By the time he bottomed out I could feel him in my stomach.

He pulled out an inch and slammed back inside. The force alone brought tears to my eyes. My nails pierced the belt's leather.

"You feel better than I imagined." His voice is thick with lust. His cock twitches within me. "I'm not going to stop until you're full with my seed. I won't let you leave until I'm sure you're pregnant. I'm going to _fuck_ an heir into you. And you'll take it, because you're a good little wife."

He kisses me again. I whimper against his lips.

He fucks me hard, going from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. His cockhead kisses my cervix with each piston of his hips. The sound of skin-on-skin slapping fills the room.

I break from the kiss, a strand of saliva connecting us. I’m panting into his mouth, unable to think, unable to speak.

I need more. Each drag of his cock against my walls is bliss. White-hot arousal courses through my veins. When I finally find my voice, all I can do is babble.

"Fill me. Fill me up—hng! I'll be your good little wife! Fuck. You feel so good, Illumi. You fuck me so good. _Ah!_. More. Fill me up, baby. I need your cum."

Illumi shudders, his eyes falling shut. He furrows his brows and pistons into me even harder than before. The bed begins to tremble under the strain of his thrusts.

" _Yesyesyesyes_!" I raise my hips to meet his thrusts. "It feels so good. Right there, baby. Oh, God! Im gonna cum. You make me feel so good! Ngh—I’m gonna cum. Fuck! Illumi!”

My second orgasm hits me just as hard as the first. My walls clamp around him hard. I wanna suck him in deeper, but he's already nestled near my cervix. My eyes land on where our bodies connect, and I'm transfixed on my stomach.

I can _see_ him. My tummy bulge as he drills into me, the impression of his cock prominent. I want to touch it. I want to press my hands against the bulge and feel him move within me. The thought alone is enough to make me moan. The beginnings of another orgasm stirs within me.

Illumi fucks me like its his job. Beads of sweat gather along his hairline. Soft, nearly imperceptible grunts escape him.

His hips stutter for the first time all evening. And then, I feel it. His cock twitches within me, which is my only warning.

His seed is warm, spurting deep inside of my womb. It’s such a strange sensation that I can’t help but moan. I’m so full. So entirely full. 

Illumi presses his hips flush with mine, burying himself as deep as he can within me. His forehead rests against my own as he comes down from his high. 

We stay like that for a while. I’ve lost all concept of time. All I care about is this—us. The effects of my orgasm linger, leaving me blissed out and happy.

When Illumi finally pulls out, his cum begins to dribble onto the sheets in a slow leak.

He smoothes his hair back but it falls back in his face despite his efforts. His nimble fingers work to untie the belt around me, and then my bra. They're both tossed unceremoniously to the floor.

My wrists ache, but I don’t rub them. I can’t. I don’t think I can move a single muscle.

Illumi looks down at me with the softest expression I think I've ever seen him make. He looks so beautiful in this moment, bare-chested and pale blush across his cheeks. His hair still looks as smooth as always, only a little rumpled.

"I love you."

The words slip out before I can stop them.

Illumi freezes, the soft expression melting away to an unreadable one. He reaches down and caresses my cheek, his thumb skimming my skin tenderly.

"I've never been in love before," he admits. "Assassins don't have friends—or attachments."

My heart sinks.

"But, what I feel for you ... I can't explain." He seems frustrated with himself. "I don’t love you like I love my family. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. It's dangerous to be distracted when I'm away on a mission, yet I think about you when we're a part.

“I think about your smile, and your body, and the little things you say. I like how I feel when I'm around you. If that's what love is, then I guess I do love you."

Tears pricked my eyelids. Illumi’s voice is honest and sure. I swallow thickly, my voice small, "Can I kiss you?"

Illumi met me halfway. This kiss was different than the ones we shared moments ago. It was sweet and gentle. There was no searing heat, only comfortable warmth. I could get used to this.

I rest my forehead against his, our noses bumping one another playfully. "I love you, Illumi. I love you so much. I don't want to lose you."

"That's a silly thing to be worried about." His hair tickled my face. "I have no intention of letting you go, now or in the future."

I search his eyes. “And ... what if your mother decides she doesn’t like me?”

At this, Illumi pauses. I already know the answer—Illumi said himself that if his parents disapproved our relationship was over. And yet, there seemed to be a war waging on inside of him.

Finally he said, “You’re mine. I chose you. You will always be mine.”

For now, that would satisfy. "And you're mine.”

Illumi kissed my cheek. "Yes."

His nose runs the length of my jawline affectionately, and I gingerly wrap my arms around him. When he doesn’t protest, I press myself into him, relishing in the warmth between us.

"Are you recovered?" His lips are right next to my ear. He kisses the patch behind my earlobe tenderly.

"What do you mean?"

"You said at the start of this you wanted me to give you a baby. I promised I wouldn't let you leave this bed until I was sure it had taken." Illumi pushed me onto my back, hovering over top of me once more. "I always keep my promises."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took FOREVER to write. I hope you enjoy. Please excuse any mistakes.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Alexa, play WAP by Cardi B*
> 
> Illumi is coming over to meet your parents. The only problem? They don't know you have a boyfriend ... or that your boyfriend is a notorious assassin.
> 
> Alternative Summary: Illumi dicks you down in your childhood bedroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if some of this seems rushed, I've been working on this for weeks and I just wanted to be done with it lol

I have a secret.

It's a pretty big one, honestly. I always thought there would be a _right time_ , a time when things would simply fall into place. Where the topic would come up naturally.

I had valid reasons for keeping this secret! Honest.

A few months back I had asked my dad what he thought of the Zoldyck family. I was prepared, then and there, to finally come clean. It had been a good day for me. I was feeling confident and brave.

_"The Zoldycks?" Dad scratched his chin. "Why are you asking about those monsters?"_

_"I ... I was just curious. I heard someone mention the name."_

_"They're a family of killers. Every last one of them."_

_"Oh?"_

_"Assassins," he explained. (Like I didn't already know.) "Dangerous. Very dangerous. There's been a hit out on them for_ years _, but no one wants to take it. The ones that do ... Well, they don't come back, let's just say that. It's stupid, really. I don't know why they still try. And, nobody's ever seen them. I think a photo of one of 'em is worth nearly five million. They keep to the shadows and, honestly, I prefer them to stay that way."_

So, yeah. I had a pretty good reason for keeping this secret.

I didn't know _what_ dad would do if he found out my boyfriend was one of the infamous Zoldycks. (Or, that I had, like, a thousand pictures of him.)

After that conversation I decided it would be (extremely) smart never to bring the topic up again. Well, maybe some time in the future. Like, calling-dad-up-as-I'm-about-to-walk-down-the-aisle kinda future.

But, as always, fate has a funny way of making things happen.

There was physically no way for me to keep Illumi my (dirty little) secret any longer. He was coming in a week. I tried talking him out of it. I came up with the most ridiculous excuses, but for some reason it had to be now. Something about a clear schedule. In his mind, it was only fair that he meet my parents since I had been exposed to his.

So, here I stand, wringing my hands nervously as I stare at my parent's apartment door. I'd been here for nearly ten minutes having a mental war with myself. I _needed_ to go in; but, my feet were glued to the floor.

Suddenly, the door swung open. It was mom. She seemed as bewildered as I was. 

"Honey? What are you doing here?" She has her purse slung over her shoulder and reusable shopping bags on her arm. She must've been headed to the grocery store. "You didn't call me, did you? Normally you call before you come over. Did I miss it?"

"No. No. I, uh, I really needed to see you guys."

Mom narrows her eyes. "O- _kay_."

She steps aside to let me in and shuts the door behind her. She tosses the shopping bags but doesn't let go of her purse. We head to the living room where she sits me down on the couch.

"Where's dad?"

She gestures down the hall. "In the studio. I can go and get him...?"

"Yes, please."

I fiddle with the silver bracelet around my wrist. It was a gift from Illumi - one of many. I wore this one the most because it was simple, unlike some of the more gaudy presents he'd gifted me. (Though, I had a feeling this 'simple bracelet' cost about as much as my apartment, so I only wore it on special occasions or whenever I needed a quick pick-me-up. I considered it lucky and I needed all the luck in the world right now.)

"You're scaring me," mom says. "This isn't something bad, is it?"

"Well ... it depends on your definition."

Her eyebrows shot up.

"I'll explain in a minute, I just really need both of you in here to do it."

Mom hesitated a moment longer, then relented. I didn't watch her go, too preoccupied with the incessant pounding in my chest. _I can do this. I_ can _do this._

_I could hear two sets of footsteps shuffling down the hall._

__I can't do this._ _

__

ღ

Sitting across from my parents like this made me feel like I was in the principal's office. I was always a good kid in school. The teachers liked me. They let me get away with a lot of crap, mainly because I was nice to them and gave them gift cards on holidays. There was one time, though, that I'd gotten in trouble. The incident wasn't worth noting; but I would always remember that feeling. The feeling of existential dread. The feeling of being too nauseas to speak but not enough to puke.

Yeah. The principal's office, that's pretty much this same feeling.

"Okay..." I sigh. "This isn't going to be easy, so I'm just going to come out and say it."

"You're engaged?" mom blurted out.

"No." I rolled my eyes. "No. I have a boyfriend."

"Oh, sweetie!" Mom beamed at me, reaching out to pat my leg. "That's wonderful! When you came here and said you needed to talk to us, I thought it was going to be something _serious_. You nearly gave me a heart attack."

Dad leaned back. He didn't look angry or disappointed. Rather, the opposite.

No relief came from this. The hard part wasn't over yet.

"We've been dating for a while now. Several months. I wanted to tell you guys but ... Well, given the circumstances, I mean ... I need you guys to _promise_ me that you're not going to freak out. I need you to listen to everything I have to say - without judgment - until I'm done. Okay?"

Dad frowns. "What does that mean?"

"Just, please, promise me."

He narrows his eyes. Honestly, I didn't expect him to agree with me at all. I expected him to demand answers, to pry the information out of me. It's not like I could blame him for reacting that way, either. Given my cryptic manner of speaking, I wouldn't trust me either.

"Fine."

Mom nods in return, wrapping an arm around dad.

I swallow hard. I just had to do it. "You remember a while ago when I was asking about the Zoldycks."

Slowly, he nods, like he's pulling the conversation from the deep recesses of his memory. "Yeah."

"Right." I rub the back of my neck. "Well ... um ... My boyfriend is Illumi Zoldyck. _Zip_!" I hold a finger out to shush both of them. "Illumi is a really great guy. I know about his family's reputation, and I know that you think he's dangerous; but, Illumi has never done anything to harm me. I've already met his family and some of them are nicer than others, I'll give them that, but they were--for the most part--kind and accepting of our relationship.

"He really wants to meet both of you. He's been bugging me about it for a couple of weeks now. I, um, I finally caved. He's coming in a week to have dinner with us. I think, once you get to know him, you'll see that he's very sweet. He can be a little ... _shy_ at times, but he can be a very pleasant person to be around. Just _please_ give him a chance. I love him and I want you to love him, too." I purse my lips, glancing between the two of them. "Okay, you can go."

"Are you _out of your mind_?!"

ღ

"They're really nice," I assure him. "I think you'll like them."

Illumi hums. He doesn't seem nervous, not like he had when I went to meet his parents. Compared to last time he's the picture of serenity.

We walk side-by-side on the crowded streets of York New. The sky is overcast. I think it's supposed to storm later but we shouldn't be staying long enough for that.

I tell him my parents names. I tell him about a vacation we took not too long ago. I tell him about their weird quirks and interests. (I don't tell him how they didn't know he existed until a few days ago.) Illumi listens to it all, not saying a word. I'm in the middle of telling him some random story that's popped into mind when he stops walking.

"You're nervous."

I rub the back of my neck and look away. "Yeah..."

"Why?"

"Why aren't _you_ nervous?"

"I have been in worse situations."

"But you were nervous to introduce me to your parents?" I sass.

"I wasn't nervous, I was ... concerned." He looks at me from the corner of his eye. "It was reasonable for me to be concerned, then. Not now."

"Why? 'Cause they're not assassins?"

"Yes."

Illumi tries to start walking again but I don't move.

"What is it now?"

I huff, crossing my arms. "It's nothing."

"Then let's go."

Reluctantly, I start walking. I don't tell him that meeting my parents is just as important as meeting _his_. I don't tell him that if they don't like him it could be detrimental to our relationship. I don't tell him any of this because I'm a _good_ girlfriend and don't want to get in to it right now.

We round the corner and their apartment complex is in sight. The butterflies in my stomach devour my annoyance and I'm back to fretting. As we cross the street, I feel a drop of water hit my cheek. _Huh_. The storm is starting a lot sooner than expected.

"Did you grow up here?"

We stop in front of the building. It's tall, one of the taller ones in the city. I'd never felt embarrassed of where I lived before. It was in the nicer area of town. Not rich, just nice. I grew up comfortable and happy, I didn't have to ask for too much.

But, seeing as my boyfriend lived in a mother fucking mountain, I couldn't help but feel a _little_ self-conscious.

"Mostly. We moved here when I was three. Dad wanted to be closer to the city so he didn't have to travel so much, and mom went back to university so she could go into the field of her dreams. She's weirdly obsessed with teeth, so don't be alarmed if she complements yours."

"I won't."

We climbed the stairs and the doorman let us in, recognizing me with a smile.

"I still stay over sometimes; especially on a new ballet's opening night. It became an unofficial tradition a while ago. Plus, their place is closer to Karnegie than mine so I get to rest quicker."

The further we got in the apartment complex, the more my anxiety increased. I hadn't exactly left my parents on good terms the other day. Mom was taking it _a little_ better than dad. I spent half of the time answering their questions. (I was vague about most subjects involving Illumi. I think the most straightforward thing I gave them was his name.)

The other half was spent talking my dad down from murdering Illumi.

_"Dad, I love you, and I mean this with all the respect in the world: don't try and fight him. You'll loose."_

The elevator stopped on our floor.

I'm going to throw up. Or die. Either. Maybe both.

Illumi eyed me curiously. I pushed past him and walked down the hall.

_Just gotta get this over with. It's like ripping a bandaid off._

But, when the door came in sight, I froze.

"What are you doing?" Illumi nudged me forward but I stayed firmly planted where I stood. He huffed my name in annoyance. "You're being childish."

I elected to _ignore_ his comment. Instead, I turned around and laid a hand on his chest. He stiffened under my touched but didn't push me away. I smoothed out his (impeccably crisp) shirt. (Seriously, how did he always look good?)

He allowed me to finish my antics before grabbing me by the chin and tipping my head upwards. "You're being ridiculous."

"And you're being insensitive." I force a smile, smoothing out one last invisible wrinkle. "Did you wear this shirt on purpose?"

It's the purple one I love so much. You know, the one with the billowing sleeves that make him look like the cover guy on a smutty romance novel. I'm sure I've annoyed him with how many times I told him I loved him in it, and yet any time there was an especially special occasion he always seemed to wear it.

"I thought you'd appreciate it."

"I do." I caught the meat of his palm with a chaste kiss. "You look very handsome today."

Illumi's jaw ticks. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Not yet ... Is it working?"

His eyes narrow a hair. "Your parents are waiting."

I pout, but he's right. I can't put it off any longer. Withdrawing my key, I unlock the door and instantly the scent of home cooking wafts towards us. From the kitchen, I can hear mom's radio playing some random talk show and the sounds of plates knocking together. 

"Hey! We're here!" I hang my purse on the hook and turn to Illumi. "C'mon. This way."

We round the corner and enter the kitchen. Mom stands at the stove, mixing something. She doesn't notice us right away but when she finally does, she smiles and abandons her spot.

"Hi sweetie." She embraces me in a tight hug and then regards the assassin. "It's so great to meet you, Illumi. Please, make yourself at home."

Illumi extends his hand to her. "Thank you for inviting me into your home."

"Oh, no problem, sweetie. I'm just excited to finally meet a boyfriend--"

" _Mom_."

"Well, I am." She waves me off and returns to her food. "How about you go drag your father out of the studio. He's been in there all day. It'll give you a chance to show Illumi around."

"Right."

I lead Illumi out of the kitchen and into the living room. They tided up. They must've thrown some of the mess in their bedroom. Illumi studies the space. It's small, but it's bigger than my apartment. He steps towards the far wall, the one covered from floor to ceiling in photos of me. I flush, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Yeah, I forgot to warn you about that. Only child problems, I guess..."

There are pictures of me from the time I was only a month old to now, arranged in chronological order. Most of them were professional dance pictures, since that was mainly how I was photographed, but there were a hand full of non-ballet related images. It had a tendency to freak new people out. I always forgot to warn people cause I was so used to seeing it.

"It's interesting." He steps closer, inspecting the one of them. I was eight and swinging on a swing set. My mouth was wide, exposing a smile full of lost teeth. "You were a happy child?”

“I guess so.”

Illumi hums. He spares one more thoughtful glance at the photo before turning to me.

“Come on, this way."

I lead him down the small hallway. There are a total of four doors, two on each side of the hall. I tell him what they are as we pass.

“Bathroom. My room. My parents room—hey, what are you doing?”

Again, Illumi has stopped. Right in front of my old bedroom. I don't have time to say anything before he turns the handle and peeks inside.

“C’mon, Illumi, we can have time to explore my bedroom later.” He leans out of the door, eyebrow raised. I stutter. “I didn’t mean it like—let’s go, okay? I really want you to meet my dad.”

That seems to knock some sense into him. He nods and shuts my door, following me to the last, unannounced room.

“This is the studio. It’s where dad likes to practice.”

I knock on the door. The room is sound proofed. It can be difficult to hear even the loudest knocks at times. Thankfully, dad must've been near by because he opens the door a few seconds later.

He's bewildered at first, especially when he sees Illumi standing behind me, but realization hits just as fast.

“Hey, dad.”

“Oh, hey. I thought you guys were coming later. I would’ve met you at the door.”

I shrug. We actually came on time but I don't tell him that.

“It’s okay.”

Dad gives me a pat on the shoulder, then turns to Illumi. He sticks his hand out. “Nice to meet you.”

Illumi clasped his hand and shook it firmly. "You, too."

Dad studies Illumi. He's several inches shorter than the assassin and seeing them beside each other is almost comical.

I clear my throat. "Mom says that dinner's almost ready."

This breaks him out of his trance. Dad nods, smiling at me. "I should probably go help with that."

We wait until he's out of sight before speaking again. I sight, relieved. Illumi has no idea how well that just went. He stares down at me with those large doll eyes of his. 

“Can I see your room now?”

ღ

I stand awkwardly in the doorway as Illumi picks through my belongings. He reminds me of a curious child. He grabs practically everything, turning it over, squeezing it, overly analyzing it, until something new catches his eye.

At the moment he’s at my dresser, leafing through some photographs I forgot I even had. He holds up one picture and asks, “Who is this?”

I come closer. “Oh, that’s me and my nephew, Briggs. That was when he was just born. I beat my friend’s husband there and got to be the first to hold him. Cut the umbilical cord and everything. It was disgusting.”

A thoughtful look crosses his face. “How old is he now?”

“Two.” I take the photo from him and slip it into my back pocket. “His birthday is coming up soon.”

Illumi isn’t paying attention anymore. I peer over his shoulder and point out the different, important people in the pictures. Illumi seems to make a note of everyone. 

“Dinner’s ready!” Mom shouts.

Illumi carefully lays my photos back on the dresser and follows me out into the living room again. Mom and dad have already set up the table and we file in accordingly.

The atmosphere is light, though there's a subtle tension in the air. I sit rigidly in my seat and glance between Illumi, my food, then my parents. The tension is lost on Illumi. He looks like this is an everyday encounter. Like it's just the two of us having dinner at the apartment.

Mom smiles at the pair of us. “So! How did the two of you meet. My _over zealous_ daughter has been stingy about the details.”

I kick her under the table.

She's just one slip away from tipping off Illumi that they didn't know he existed until last week. My heart pounds painfully in my ribcage. I'm almost convinced everyone can hear it.

I open my mouth to answer for him, but Illumi beats me to it.

“I noticed her on the street but she didn't see me. I saw she danced for the ballet and I decided to try to meet her if I could.”

Mom coos, but I’m taken aback.

I turn to him, keeping my voice low. “You never told me that.”

Illumi shrugs. “You never asked.” He nods to my dad and continues. “I was intrigued by her Zetsu. She tells me you were her teacher.”

Dad seems flustered at being called into conversation so soon. “Oh. Yeah, I was. I wanted to teach her young. After my time as a Hunter, I realized how dangerous the world was for a kid. Made me realize that dangerous people take advantage of innocence. I wanted her to be prepared to defend herself if something happened.”

It seems like a subtle jab but Illumi either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. “Yes. It’s always good to be prepared.”

"But she decided she didn't want to learn any more and, well, I wasn't about to force it on her. I just had to trust she'd make good choices."

The table fell quiet. I could feel my cheeks heating up. I wanted to glare at him but I couldn't without Illumi noticing, so I suffered in silence. Mom swallowed her food fast and attempted to salvage the conversation.

“Illumi, I hear you travel a lot.” A polite way of phrasing he’s a hired assassin. “What are some of your favorite places to go?”

“I don’t have one. I travel for business. I don’t like to waste time on sightseeing. Though, now that I think about it, I’ve become fond of York New.”

Illumi glances at me, then returns his gaze to his plate. 

“Business oriented,” dad remarks, “It’s not a bad quality to have.”

“I was raised that way. If you have a goal, you get it done. No matter what.”

“I admire your determination,” says mom.

Illumi's lips twitch downwards, but he quickly masks the look with one of disinterest. “Thank you.”

The room falls into a lull. Mom nudges my foot under the table and gestures to Illumi with a jerk of her head. 

_His hair is looong_ , she mouths.

I roll my eyes. _Yeah. I know_.

She makes a face and mouths, _Weird._

I bite my tongue to keep from making a sarcastic remark. 

ღ

After dinner, mom sequesters Illumi to the living room while dad and I clear the table. Dad scrapes the remaining food and I load them in the dishwasher. I'm still angry and embarrassed about what he did at the table but I'm not confident enough to confront him about it now. I don't want them to hear us arguing. I'll save it for another time. Illumi doesn't deserve that.

Dad eyes me. “He doesn’t talk much, does he?”

“I told you he was shy.”

“Yeah, but...” He passes me another dish. “He’s practically a mute.”

“He doesn’t like idle chat. If he has something to say, he’ll say it.”

Dad hums and grabs another plate to scrape. “It’s hard to read a guy like that."

“I’ve gotten used to it.” I load another dish. “He likes you guys. He’s comfortable. It takes a lot for him to be uncomfortable.”

 _Except_ , I think to myself, _Touching his leg at the dinner table. Look where that got me last time..._

I bit my inner cheek to keep a blush at bay. All we have to do is finish with the pleasantries and then we're out of here and I get Illumi all to myself.

Dad finishes his pile and leans against the counter. “He isn’t what I expected.”

“Is that good or bad?”

He sways his head, wishy-washy. “Ehh. It’s not bad. I still haven’t made my mind up about him, though.”

I quirk an eyebrow but don't reply. That was better than nothing.

Once we finish I nearly sprint out of the kitchen to find Illumi. This was it. We exchange our 'goodnights' and 'goodbyes' and then we're gone. We can laugh this whole experience off. Maybe I'll bring him around for the rare holiday or birthday, but other than that (and I was going to stress this to him) I would keep him to myself.

"Well, it's getting pretty la--"

I stop short and blanch.

Mom has her scrapbooks pulled out. All. Of. Them. They cover the coffee table and any available couch space. The biggest one rests in Illumi’s lap as my mother explains each picture to him.

“... This is the one I like to call ‘Topless Carwash’. Look at her! Two years old and _squishy_. She insisted on going out to hose down the car in her little pull up and, well, who was I to deny her. Look at her!”

“Mom!”

The two of them look up like they were noticing me for the first time.

“What is it, honey?”

My mouth opens and closes and yet I can’t make any words come out. What _could_ I say in this situation? Apparently nothing because the only thing that came to mind were various inhuman noises.

Finally, I sputter, “I’m sure Illumi is only looking at those to be polite.”

“Actually." Illumi slips the photo back in it's sleeve. “I’m enjoying myself. You were a cute child.”

 _Enjoying himself_ , he says with a straight face.

I narrow my eyes. He might be a trained assassin but I'm about to kick his ass.

“You don’t know the half of it, Illumi.” Dad pats my shoulder, moving past me to join them on the couch. “Has she shown you the one where she ‘painted’ herself with--”

“Dad!”

“No, I haven’t seen that one yet.”

Mom smiles, “Its on the next page.”

“Mom!”

ღ

We ended up staying much longer than I anticipated.

The plan was to come in, have a slightly strained dinner, then head back to my apartment. (And maybe see where the night took us. I’m not picky.)

But _no_.

Fate decided she would be a pain in my ass tonight.

I tried--several times, may I add--to cut the night short. Each time it was either ignored or met with, _Oh, of course, honey, we just want to show Illumi one more thing._

After the scrapbook _sss_ (yes, all of them), Illumi asked about dad’s job. He seemed happy to talk about it. Mom insisted that dad put on a private concert for us and so we all headed back to the studio. Dad played for a few minutes, then Illumi asked if he could try.

_Since when did Illumi play the piano?!_

Apparently a while, because he played beautifully. (Maybe better than dad, but I'd never tell him that.)

As it turned out, Illumi and my dad had _a lot_ in common, other than just the piano thing because _apparently_ Illumi is a hunter, too. (Something I didn't even know about him.)

They talked for nearly two-and-a-half hours about the exam. They compared and contrasted their experiences, the people who took it with them, and the number of those who passed.

Dad was beginning to broach the subject of Illumi’s job when mom looked at her watch and gasped.

“It’s twelve already?!”

“What?!” I pulled out my phone and checked the time. Sure enough, it was five passed midnight. We had spent the whole _fucking_ night with my parents.

Illumi tilts his head, face impassive and voice void of emotion. “I hadn’t realized it was so late."

“I’m not sending the two of you out there,” mom stated firmly. "It’s too late. Besides, it’s storming.”

As if on cue, a loud bash of thunder shook the building. I could hear the rain through the studio's sound proofed walls. It was loud and violent. Just my luck, right?

Illumi stood. “I can get her home safely.”

It was true. There weren’t many occasions that Illumi and I spent the night on the town, but the few we did, no one dared come within ten feet of us. Illumi’s presence was terrifying enough to scare off even the most brazen. I'm sure if he just looked at the sky in a menacing way the storm would disperse.

Mom leveled a stern glare at the two of us. “Nonsense. It’s too late. The two of you can spend the night here.”

“No, mom—“

“I’ll get the couch pulled out,” said dad.

How is it that one conversation turned him from _Dangerous-assassin-no-touch-my-daughter_ to _let’s-make-friendship-bracelets-please-call-me-dad_?!

As my parents left the room, I sighed. “I am so, so sorry. I should’ve kept an eye on the time—“

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“Illumi.” I shook my head, “You don’t have to pretend. I’m not gonna get mad.”

“I’m not pretending. I don’t mind.”

I exhale softly. “Okay. But I really am sorry.”

Thankfully, I didn't completely move out from my old room or else we'd be stuck in our day clothes. I scrounge up some comfy wear of mine that looks like it would fit Illumi. He accepted them graciously.

When Illumi came out in my clothes I have to stifle a laugh. He looks ridiculous. The biggest pair of bottoms I had were sweat pants, and they seemed to fit around the waist just fine, but Illumi was tall. The bottom of the sweats rested above his ankles.

The shirt was a little better. It was an old one of dad’s that I’d kept for several years, now. It was baggy on him, but left his biceps exposed. I eyed them a bit longer than I should’ve.

Mom and dad had set up the pullout couch for him, dressing it with spare sheets and a pillow from my room. (Because god forbid they give up one of their own.)

My parents say their good nights to the both of us, mom making a point to tell me she hopes I’ll sleep well in _my bedroom_. I don’t think they’ll ever let me share a room with a boy (under their roof) until I’m married, for like, eight years.

I wait a while, then sneak out of my bedroom. I find Illumi still wide awake in the dark living room. He’s scrolling through his phone idly, the bright screen illuminating his face hauntingly.

I perch myself on the edge of the mattress, bouncing a little, but he doesn’t look up. I might as well be a ghost.

“Hey.”

He inclines his head. “Hey.”

“Are you not sleepy?”

The storm rages on outside. There's a flash of lightning that brightens the room for a second, before we're plunged back into darkness. We'll be lucky if the power doesn't cut out on us.

“I don’t sleep much,” he says, scrolling away.

“You do when you’re with me.”

Now, he looks. He pushes his hair from his face and shakes his head. “No. I let you fall asleep before I get up to do things. I don’t need much rest.”

“Bull.”

“You can choose not to believe it.” He returns to his phone. Now, he’s typing.

I shift on the creaky mattress. “If you’re going to be up for a while, we can hang out in my room?”

His thumbs hover above his screen, stopping mid-type.

“I just feel bad. You shouldn’t have to sleep on this old thing. I’m sure you’re uncomfortable.”

“I’ve slept on worse.” Illumi sighs, then pockets his phone. He stands and walks past me wordlessly. It’s only when he passes through my bedroom door that I realize where he was going.

I jump to my feet and hurry back to my room as quietly as possible. I feel like a kid again, sneaking around with a friend at a sleepover, trying not to wake my parents.

I guess it was an appropriate analogy.

I shut my door silently behind me. Illumi has one of my stuffed animals in his hand, staring at it pensively. 

“I realized, today, that we grew up in severely different households.”

“What do you mean?”

Illumi gives the animal a squeeze. “Everything about our childhood differs. You grew up in the city. I grew up in a mountain. Your parents have hundreds of photos of you doing the most mundane things. I don’t think my parents have any.”

I don’t know how to respond to that.

“It’s just an interesting observation.” Illumi sits on my bed and puts the stuffed animal back where it laid. “Are you going to come here or stand by the door all night.”

I take a step closer and Illumi pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his bare torso. My face heats up.

“What—uh—what are you doing?”

He folds the shirt up and lays it on the foot of the bed. “You invited me to your room. Aren’t we going to have sex?”

“That’s—I didn’t—That’s—” I mean, it's not like I hadn't thought about it, but the risk was too great. “My parents are right down the hall.”

“That didn't stop you when we were at my house.”

I choke on air. “I didn’t know! Besides, your place has, like, stones for walls.”

He pauses, considering my words. I'm having a really hard time not staring at his chest. (I'm not imagining what it would be like to kiss it. I'm not imaging what it would be like to lick from his neck to his navel. I'm not imagining scratching up his back. I'm not. That would be perverted.)

“You’re right," he says finally. "They would hear better through these walls. They’re thin as paper.”

I sigh in relief. “Right—”

“I guess that means you’ll have to be quiet.”

Illumi sits down and pats the space beside him.

If it’s possible, I blush even harder. “Illumi! They’ll hear us.”

“Not if you’re gagged.”

“That’s not the—!“ I bite my lips to hush myself. (I'm not imagining him with his hand over my mouth as he fucks me. I'm not. I'm-- _shit_.) “ _That’s not the point_. My bed will creek. They’ll know.”

Illumi gives my bed an experimental bounce. The springs groan in protest, the sound obnoxiously loud.

“You’re right. It’s no good.”

The swarm of butterflies die down slightly. “Yes. That’s right.”

Illumi stands and locks his dark eyes on mine. “The floor will do.”

I have no time to protest. Illumi grabs me by the wrist and pulls me into him, capturing my lips in a kiss. I can't even struggle against him. I don't want to. My willpower leaves my body the moment Illumi eases his tongue into my mouth. It twirls around my own lasciviously. Every sinful thought I'd tried to stifle comes floating to the forefront of my mind.

I need him.

The hard planes of his chest press against my body and stimulate my nipples. My thin sleep shirt does nothing to protect my breasts. Illumi instantly breaks the kiss and pulls the offending fabric off of me. I squish myself against him, relishing in the feeling of skin on skin.

Illumi sweeps my legs out from under me and pushes me to the floor. The carpet is rough on my back but I can’t bring myself to care. I only care about his touch. I strain upwards, to kiss him, to make him kiss me (anywhere he wants) but Illumi keeps me pinned by the shoulders.

“If I tell you to keep your hands to yourself, will you listen?” I make a face and Illumi rolls his eyes. “Of course not.”

He feels around and then grabs my fluffy robe off of the bed post. He rips the tie out from its loops, then motions for me to give him my hands.

I do so reluctantly, but not before twirling a bit of his hair around my finger and pulling. Illumi grips my wrists tightly in one hand then winds the fluffy cord around my arms, tying it off tight.

“If you can’t do something as simple as keep your hands to yourself, I won’t bother asking you to be quiet.”

He reaches on top of my bed and pulls down one of my smaller stuffed animals. Illumi pries my moth open and shoves it between my teeth.

“If we were back home, I would’ve had more suitable items. But ... we'll have to make due.”

I can’t tell if ‘back home’ means the apartment or the mountain.

Illumi sits up and grabs my breasts. His fingers twist and pinch my nipples experimentally, then move to my sleep pants. His fingers dance along my clothed pussy, pressing up against my slit. He traces circular patterns against it, eyes not once leaving my face. It's like he's daring me to be loud.

He has enough of his own teasing and rips my pants down, allowing them to pool around my ankles. He flicks the little bow on the front of my panties. It's too high to provide any real stimulation and I whine.

"Cute."

I whimper, bucking my hips in the air. He shoots me a sharp glare and withdraws from my body completely. He crosses his arms over his chest, driving home the point that he won't touch me if I keep it up. 

I lower my hips and try to pout, but the toy between my teeth prevents it.

As soon as I'm settled, Illumi leans over and cages me in with his arms. His hair falls in a dark black curtain around us. Illumi is so close that his nose nudges my own. It's torture, being so close and yet not getting to kiss him.

"Are you done?"

I narrow my eyes, _No_.

The smack comes out of nowhere. It's not hard, but it knocks the defiance out of me.

"Don't be a brat." Illumi gives my cheeks a squeeze then trails his hand down my bare torso, not stopping until he's reached my underwear. He cups my clothes pussy, spreading his fingers wide so his thumb bumps my clit. "You've teased me enough today. I think it's fair I return the favor."

Illumi crawls down my body, his hair tickling my bare skin. I can feel his breath fan across my skin causing goosebumps. When he reaches my panties he presses a kiss to my clothed slit. I jerk again but he's prepared this time. He holds my hips in place, his grip hard enough to leave bruises. Then he nips. His teeth pinch my sensitive skin. I cry out, but the little stuffed animal muffles the sound.

He doesn't reprimand me this time, only pulls the elastic of my panties and lets them _snap_ hard against my skin.

He kisses me again, this time directly against my clit. I could've sworn that I felt his tongue poke out, but the sensation was gone as soon as it came. Illumi finally pulled my panties down. His dark, predatory eyes appraised me. The faintest of blushes crossed his cheeks. And, if I craned my neck just right, I could see his ... _fuck_ , his hardon straining against my sweatpants. I don't think I've ever been so painfully turned on by a _bulge_.

Thankfully, when Illumi tied my hands he didn't hook me around anything. I reached out and grabbed his cock, massaging it through the sweats. The reaction was instant. Illumi let out a strangled grunt, his blush darkening. He might've swatted my hands away but for some reason, he didn't. Illumi gripped the edge of my bed for stability.

I looked up at him and motioned with my eyes for him to remove my make-shift gag. Illumi grit his teeth in defiance. It didn't seem like he would, if only to regain some semblance of control over the situation, but then he reached up and removed the little stuffy from between my lips. He cradled my cheek, brushing his thumb across a line of drool that still connected me with the toy.

I inhaled shakily, licking my lips. "Can I suck you off?"

His eyes went wide. "What?"

I pinched the fabric of the sweat pants, pulling them down his hips just enough to reveal the beginnings of his happy trail.

"Can I _suck_ you off?"

Illumi swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. If it was possible, his eyes got darker. There was a small wet patch forming on the fabric. Was he not wearing any underwear? And he called _me_ lewd.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not." I pulled his sweatpants lower. Another tug and his cock would be free. "I wanna do it. Please."

Illumi shoved me onto my back. "No."

"Why not?" I whined.

"That's disgusting."

"It's not. Have you ever done it?"

The blush on his cheeks burned brighter and he looked away. "It doesn't matter if I've ever done it before. It's a waste of my seed."

 _Oh._ I bit my inner cheek. I had to admit, that was pretty hot.

"You don't have to finish in my mouth." I wet my bottom lip and made the cutes face I could. "Please, baby? Can I suck your cock?"

Illumi grabbed me by the neck and hauled me onto my knees. My face landed against his thigh, his bulge centimeters from my nose. He pushed the sweatpants down his legs the rest of the way, carelessly kicking them off somewhere in the room. His cock slapped his stomach, red and leaky. A bead of pre trickled down his tip enticingly.

It would've been easier to do if I had mobility of my hands but I wasn't about to press him to release me. At any rate, being tied up was ... kinda hot. Illumi grabbed his cock and pressed it to my lips, a subtle jerk of his hips telling me to start now or forget it.

I laved my tongue against his slit, licking all around it like a lolly pop. Then, slowly, I enveloped the tip and sucked on the spongy head. Illumi threaded his fingers through my hair and _pulled_. I moaned and Illumi tighten his hold.

I withdrew from his cock, giving it a particularly harsh suck, and moved down the shaft. I licked the fleshy skin, paying special attention to the base before moving back up to the tip and kissing it. He jerked again.

"Just suck it."

I eyed him mischievously. _It doesn't feel good to be teased, does it?_

But, I'm a merciful girlfriend. I opened my mouth and force as much of him into my mouth as I possibly could. He wasn't necessarily thick, but he had a decent length to him that made it hard to take his entire cock in my mouth. 

Illumi didn't seem to care though. I glanced up at him to see his lips pressed hard together, facing the ceiling. The blush had crept down to his chest. His arms were flexed, defining those muscles of his even more. God, he was sexy.

I bobbed up and down his length, sucking and licking as much as I possibly could before Illumi yanked me off of him.

"That's enough."

Illumi inhaled deeply and regained his composure. He bent down and capture my lips with his. It was hungry and hot, like he was devouring me whole. I pulled away to catch my breath but before I could kiss him again, Illumi shoved the little stuffed animal back in my mouth. 

He shoved me back on the floor and stepped out of his sweatpants, which had pooled around his ankles. He looked at me the way a starving man looked at food.

"You look good like this."

Illumi straddled my hips, rubbing his cock along my soaked pussy. My clit felt so hot and swollen, the simplest touch had me whining. I'd gotten so wet just from sucking him off. Wet and needy. I whined again, bucking up into him. If he didn't fuck me--

"Shush. You don't want your parents to know what we're up to, do you?"

I glare at him, but it's gone the instant Illumi presses into my entrance. 

He goes hard instantly, giving me no time to adjust to the sudden intrusion. The force of his thrusts has the floor trembling. My bedside table sways from side-to-side. I'm glad we didn't do this on the bed. Sure, it would've been more comfortable and I might've been able to avoid the carpet burn that was surely marking up my back; but from the way he was fucking me, I had little doubt in my mind that the bed would break.

I bit into my make-shift gag hard. In the back of my mind, I was sorry that the poor little stuffed animal had to be used in such a perverse way. But at the same time, I really didn't care.

Illumi was giving it to me hard. He was driving into that one spot that made my toes curl almost as soon as he started. I was shaking, despritly wanting to cling to something, but my bound hands didn't allow for much leverage. After a particularly rough thrust, I threw my arms over Illumi's neck.

He scoffs breathily. "You're terrible at following directions."

Despite his words, he didn't remove my hands. He let me keep them there and drilled into me even harder if that was possible. I could not longer think clearly. He was fucking me dumb. The only thing on my mind was Illumi. His scent was all around me, filling me, consuming me from the inside out.

I could no longer choke down my moans. It was too much, every sensation seemed to be heightened. I had to cum. I needed him to make me cum, and cum for me at the same time. The thought alone of having his seed inside me made my walls quiver.

If he stopped, even for a moment, I know I'd cry.

My release was fast approaching. I couldn't hold it back if I tried. Illumi was pressed so closely that every buck of his hips grazed my poor, neglected clit. That barely there stimulation is what made my eyes roll.

I tried to warn him, I think. What came out was nothing more than a long, broken moan. My walls clamped down on Illumi hard. A shudder ran through his body and he swore under his breath. Not a moment later, his cock twitched, signaling his own release. His hips stuttered, pushing into me as deeply as they possibly could while ropes of thick cum filled my insides.

His mouth dropped open in an 'O' but no sound came out.

We laid there, connected to one another, for a long time while we rode out our orgasms. He gently fucked into me a few more times, pushing his cum deeper within me.

Illumi exhaled softly and pulled out. His seed dribbled down my thigh and stained the carpet. I'd have to clean that later but at the moment I didn't care. Illumi wiped stray tears off my cheeks. I hadn't realized I was crying. He reached over his head and eased my arms off of him, then removed the toy from my lips.

My jaw was sore. I opened and closed it a few times before Illumi kissed me. It was fervent, his soft lips a nice contrast against the scratchy fabric of the toy.

When he pulled back he wore a teasing smile. "You drooled."

"Of course I did." I blushed hard, lowering my gaze. "You try having something stuffed in your mouth during something like that."

"I'd much rather be stuffed in your mouth."

I gasped and swatted his chest.

"Was that the wrong thing to say? I read it in a book and thought it was fitting for the situation."

_What kind of books was he reading?_

"You can't say things like that."

"Why not?" He untied my wrists, unwinding the fluffy fabric delicately. "You didn't seem to have a problem begging for it."

I turn my head away, my blush creeping up to my ears. "That ... that's different. It was the heat of the moment."

Illumi hummed. He took my hands in his, rubbing where the tie had left indentions in my skin. "I think I did enjoy you sucking me. We'll have to try that again."

How could he say things like that so casually? It astounded me, if I was honest. Then again, I was pretty sure he'd gotten rid of his shame a long time ago. A part of me was jealous that he could say things like that with a straight face.

"Hey." Illumi took my chin between his fingers, making me look up at him. Those dark, fathomless eyes stared down at me owlishly. "What's your ring size, by the way?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My *personal* nsfw headcanons for Illumi:  
> \- he likes tying his s/o up partially so they don't touch him, but at the same time it makes him think of like a sexy assassination interrogation thing  
> \- he's pretty vanilla, but if you brought up the sexy interrogation rp he'd probably jump on the chance and go _all out_. could end up being kinda scary and kinda sexy at the same time  
> \- he will _never_ be a sub. he's been bossed around by his family all his life so he takes back that control in the bedroom  
> \- you so much as mention the b*by word during sex and he goes feral  
> \- his biggest kink is love and affection


End file.
